Flossing, Traffic, and Prayer.

Had an interesting morning today, to say the least.

After that angsty post last night, this morning I went to prayer meeting... or attempted to.

I was sidetracked by a certain moron going "I NEED A RIDE TO TEH DENTIST I HAV NO FRDS KTHX" =p
And hence, my morning was spent getting Mr. Wong Jr. to the Dentist's office, instead of the prayer meeting at the church.

Which wasn't actually such a bad thing. I had no Bible, though I really wanted to read at that point. So I decided to settle down and pray, while I wait for him to get drilled and flourided. (Btw, I hate that stuff - don't you?) And I ended up praying about some different things, but mainly spending time talking to Him about what I'm going through and putting it into His hands.

And thanks for the blue skies today too.


Note: Here's a picture of what I mean by 'moron'. We were stuck in traffic in the middle of Shaugnessy and Lougheed, waiting for the light to turn... and some guy decides to take out his dental floss, open the window, and stick his foot out the window while flossing.

I wish I had a ski mask to put on at that point. -_-

Blank Space

Happy Birthday =)

Well, that was an interesting night =)
But I'm just glad to see her so happy.

Mark: Hmm, on how would you rate her "happy" level tonight?
Anna: *Thinks for a moment* 10. Definitely a 10.
Mark: Hmm? How rare is that for her?
Anna: Pretty rare for her, actually. I mean, she got the presents that she wanted, she got alcohol in her *Mark raises an eyebrow and Anna smiles* AND she's got such a big group of people celebrating with her...
*In the middle of the crowd, the birthday girl starts crying tears of joy...*
Anna: *grins* SEE? Definitely a TEN!!! *pumps fist*
Mark: *lol*


What WASN'T so good though was that the present only rated a "Room for Improvement" though =( lol. Crap, I actually wanted to do one with simpler colors, such as just with 'that' green, white, and maybe sky blue, then I changed my idea because I thought she would like more colorful and that I'm too simple most of the time. Gah, who knew I'd own myself so hard >_<

I guess that means I have to work harder on it next time then... ohs nos =p

Now for a verse that I like, and a bit of thoughts this week.

"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."


Sometimes... i.e. a LOT of times, I'll still ignore God's will and my own responsibilities, which is just plain dumb, but meditating more on His Word and praying more is helping, and it's showing. That, and also when someone that cares about you tell you that they're disappointed in you. That just bugs me to no end and make me go =( because, when I hear that, it seems like that they aren't going to care about you in the same way anymore...

But regardless, it's very true, especially when it coincides with what I know about myself. I.e. I am disappointed in myself, too. I just pray that God will help me out and help me to focus on Him when I'm trying to be more like Him, not just because other people are expecting me to.

Oi, time to wake up and work then =)

David Crowder Band - Come Awake

(Thanks Anna for the song.)

Ephesians 5:14 <---- Can't believe I left out this one.
Romans 6:1-14
[Also see: Luke 8:40-56.]

"You are dead to sin and alive to God. That's what Jesus did.

That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don't give it the time of day. Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time--remember, you've been raised from the dead!-into God's way of doing things. Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God."

"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

Come awake. Come alive.

Are we left here on our own?
Can you feel when your last breath is gone?
Night is waiting heavy now
Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up
Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

You are not the only one
Who feels like the only one
Night soon will be lifted friend
Just be quiet and wait for the voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up
Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise

Rise, rise, rise, rise….
Shine, shine, Oh shine
We will shine
We will rise
We will shine, shine, shine

No, your ears are not deceiving you. This is a Britney Spears song, and I am streaming it.


Part I - Me

"... everytime I try to fly, I fall
without my wings, I feel so small..."

When you feel like you've tried really hard already, and you still fall on your ass, always looking up at the top of the well... well, I can't help but feel a bit angry. Resigned. And deflated. Given that I actually went to SFU for a week and tried hard to study for these two midterms, then unexpectedly, they screwed me over...

It kind of deflates you, especially if you haven't had good results a while, and especailly if you can't even step over these miniscule bumps. How can I get to med if I can't even do an easy phys chem midterm properly? How can I get to bloody med if a Biol midterm slaps me in the face with a 67%... when I actually tried to study for the damn thing? I get higher when I go in studying for 4 hours the night before!

I do thank God though, as the Biol MT was.... well, the teacher admit that it was written crappily, class avg. 57%, and that he's going to make it worth only 5%. And that means I have a chance. But still, there goes the confidence, in a way.

Small thing, I know. Full of angst, I know. Sue me.


Then come matters in your spiritual life, and in your fight against sin.

Same thing. I've promised to try to stop it. And now I realize, how bad of an idea it was to make a promise regarding myself and stopping my sinful habits... because I had no idea how weak I really am. Actually, I probably know how weak I am, but I just didn't watch my big mouth before I blurted it out. Now look at me, and where I am, again.

The fact that He gives me so much, and how much responsibility I take towards it... it's sickening. I can't even hold promises to other people and follow through on it. Much less my promises to God. What the hell am I?

Then the song starts to ring in my head again, and I realize the truth of it, all the more.


"What do I have, if I don't have you Jesus..."



Part II - Me... and an empty heart.

"... everytime I see, you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me..."

And now... for the GOOD stuff. Ho boy. As if the stuff in front wasn't bad enough.

I've been trying to not look at her. In a way, maybe it's because I'm angry that I THINK she's doing something stupid, like liking some guy she shouldn't be liking. Or maybe it's just that I don't want anything more to do with her other than be a brother that cares about her if she needs me to, because reason tells me that she's not a girl that "fits" me well, nor I her.

Maybe that's already a sign that something is not quite right with me. Oh, I know she's chose another guy and not me already... I think. Yet, when I see her get so friendly with another guy besides the one she might have 'chosen', part of me goes "WTH?". The other part of me, through conversations with people, believes that it has reached a logical conclusion as well: "That she really isn't the type of girl for me. I mean, look at this, look at that... blah blah blah..."

Then I encountered her one day. Maybe she was trying to see why I am being distant from her, which is why she tried to talk to me a few times. Maybe she was just being herself.

And then I glanced at her. And then... the image just wouldn't leave my head after that. And my heart just kind of tightened painfully. Hmm.


Looks like my heart doesn't quite agree with my logic. Or maybe my heart is giving my head a raised eyebrow and asking "So what?"


Knowing that I like her quite a lot still doesn't help at all though. She'd already rejected me once, and chosen someone else once. She already believes that I am not the type of person for her. So why would she accept?

I want to be so much to her. I want to give her so much. But I am only a bird who can't fly, no matter how hard I try to grow, how hard I try to flap my wings. Maybe I don't even know whether I really want what I think I want, which is even worse.

So what's left? What do I even have that I can give?

怎麼捨得你 - 張學友

紅笑臉 紅裙 紅絲巾
白紙般 坦率 還天真
一對眼 水晶般吸引
流轉的舞步 像浮雲

忘記你 但仍然想起
愈想起 更加難入寐
緊抱你 抱緊的只得空氣
明知得不到你 何必再要記起

一絲絲 一點點 燒毀憶記
一幅幅 一聲聲 又復燃起 怎麼捨得你
任由我 腸斷至死

戀一生 差一些 不可一起
只一心 等一天 日月如飛 卻等不到你
願忘記 又想起你

情與愛 是無從更改
未更改 卻因何分開
失去你 才明白未可捨棄
但始終祝福你 寧願我這田地





Why?